Honouring Gilbert, Elizabeth, and Every Child Loved and Lost

On Say Their Name Day, families across Australia come together to honour the babies and children who are no longer physically with us, but are forever carried in the hearts of those who love them.

In this special conversation hosted by Red Nose Australia, journalist, mum of five, and Red Nose Ambassador Fiona Ellis-Jones sits down with author and social worker Emily Mir to share a deeply moving discussion about grief, remembrance, and the power of storytelling.

Together, they explore what it means to speak our children’s names, loudly, proudly, and without hesitation.

Meet Gilbert

Emily’s son, Gilbert, was stillborn at 40 weeks following a long journey through IVF. Though his life was brief, his impact has been lifelong.

Years later, Emily wrote Gilbert’s Cake, a gentle and heartfelt children’s book designed to help siblings understand and connect with a brother or sister they may never have met.

The story was inspired by Emily’s own family, including her twins Harriet and Flynn, who formed a deep bond with their older brother in ways that continue to grow over time.

That connection doesn’t disappear; it continues to grow, just like our love.

Helping Children Understand Grief

One of the most powerful themes from the conversation is the importance of including children in conversations about loss.

For many families, explaining grief to young children can feel overwhelming. But as Emily explains, children are far more capable of understanding than we often realise when given age-appropriate language and space to ask questions.

Children need to understand what has happened in their family. And they have an incredible capacity to connect with siblings, even those they have never met.

Gilbert’s Cake was created to fill a gap—offering families a way to gently open up these conversations and validate the emotions that come with loss.

Why Say Their Name Day Matters

Despite growing awareness, there is still stigma around talking about babies and children who have died.

Emily believes this comes from generational silence, where families were once discouraged from naming, seeing, or mourning their babies openly.

Days like Say Their Name Day are helping to change that.

It gives us permission to speak about our children, to share their names, and to connect with others who understand.

Saying a child’s name acknowledges their existence. It reminds families that their child mattered, and still does.

A Message for Newly Bereaved Families

For those early in their grief journey, Emily offers gentle reassurance:

• Grief doesn’t disappear, but it does become lighter
• Love continues to grow over time
• It is possible to find moments of joy again

It won’t always feel this heavy. And your connection with your child will continue to grow.

Fiona echoes this, describing how grief evolves, shifting from overwhelming sadness to a space where love and joy can coexist.

The Power of Creative Healing

Writing Gilbert’s Cake became a deeply healing process for Emily. Through storytelling, she was able to reconnect with her grief, her love for Gilbert, and her identity as his mother.

She encourages other families to explore creative outlets in their own way. From writing to art or music. There is no “right” way to grieve, only what feels right for you.

Supporting Families Through Red Nose

Emily also shared her experience working with Red Nose Australia through the Hospital to Home program, supporting families navigating life after loss. Programs like these provide vital care, connection, and understanding during some of life’s most difficult moments.

Watch the Full Interview & Reading

In the video above, you can watch the full conversation and a beautiful live reading of Gilbert’s Cake.

As part of Say Their Name Day, Emily has also generously committed to donating $10 from every book purchased until March 31st to Red Nose Australia.

You can purchase your copy of Gilbert’s Cake at gilbertscake.com/store.

In need of support?

If this conversation brings up difficult feelings, please know support is available. Red Nose Australia offers 24/7 bereavement support for anyone impacted by the loss of a baby or child.

Call our Grief and Loss 24/7 Support Line 1300 308 307 or visit our Grief & Loss Support Hub