My Grief

My grief, unique to me, but oh how unfortunately common.

I used to think about the legacy I was leaving my grandchildren when I died, what would they remember about me? I never thought I would have to remember them.

The hopelessness, the frustration, the rage I felt, that not one but two of my grandchildren had died before I got to know them and just as important, before they got to know me. How unfair of life to cause my beloved daughter and son-in-law so much hurt after the expectation of so much joy, terminating in heartbreak.

What could I do, what could I say, no words could heal the pain, but I needed to show somehow that I too grieved for and loved those my daughter and son-in-law had buried.

I have donated a plaque at our place of worship, I make an annual donation to the Treasured Babies’ Program in the names of Jake and Jonathan, I have donated books in their names at my Bridge Club. Has this helped, no not really, but it’s something.

Every year is another year I might get to see them again in a better place, this I have to believe.

Written by Margaret, bereaved Nanna of Jake and Jonathan.

Lisa Gelbart

Red Nose is committed to supporting families navigating the complexities of the loss of a baby or child. To access our specialised bereavement support including: counselling, peer support programs, support groups, and resources tailored to individual needs, click here.

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Last updated on August 29, 2025
Published on May 30, 2016

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