We are so sorry for your loss.
The Older Loss Group supports parents whose baby died many years ago
— often without the chance to say goodbye or know where their baby was laid to rest.
Speak with someone now,
call our 24/7 Support Line
1300 308 307
Chat to us online, and we can connect you with the right support for you.
Find connection and support—online or in person—with those who understand loss.
Every day we receive calls from parents who experienced the death of their baby many years (and sometimes decades) ago. Many of these parents did not have the opportunity to see, hold, or make memories with their baby. Some have not begun to grieve their loss until many years later.
This can be a confronting, confusing and isolating time. If this is your experience, be reassured that you are not alone.
Red Nose can provide you with support no matter how long ago your baby died. We can also provide practical assistance in navigating hospital or cemetery records to help you find out what may have happened to your baby after they died and where their remains may be located.
A good first step is to get in touch with Red Nose and start the conversation with someone who understands.
The Older Loss Group is made up of volunteers who, like you, have experienced the heart-wrenching grief of losing a baby in a time when support was minimal and babies were taken away without a proper farewell. This group works with parents to help locate the resting place of their child and provides the vital peer support that many families desperately need.
“Finding a baby’s final resting place is one of the most healing and powerful experiences.”
For decades, stillborn and newborn babies in Australia were buried in unmarked or shared graves—often without their families’ knowledge or consent.
Many parents were never allowed to hold their babies, or even know where they were laid to rest. Today, volunteers like Fotini Koklas and Joan Noonan—both bereaved mothers themselves—are helping others through the Older Loss Group at Red Nose Grief and Loss, guiding families to find their babies’ graves and reclaim their right to grieve.
As Joan says: “It’s never too late.”
The Older Loss Group offers more than just practical support in locating a child’s resting place—it provides a community of understanding and compassionate individuals who have been through the same experience. The group is a lifeline for those whose grief was overlooked or minimized by society, offering a chance to feel heard, supported, and understood.
As many of the group’s members can attest, the pain of not holding your baby, not having the opportunity to say goodbye, and living with the unknown is something that doesn’t go away on its own. It takes time, compassion, and connection with others to begin the healing process. The Older Loss Group has allowed many to finally find peace, with some parents now able to locate the resting place of their baby, years after the loss.
If you or someone you know experienced a loss where the baby was taken to an unmarked location, we are here to support you. The Older Loss Group can assist in the search for the resting place of your child and provide you with the emotional support you need. You are not alone on this journey.
Please email us or call 03 9034 1263 for support, advice, and to begin the search for your baby’s resting place. You can also join the Older Loss Group to connect with others who truly understand the pain and grief you are experiencing.
It’s never too late to seek support. Whether your loss was decades ago or more recent, there are people who understand and are here to help you find closure. By joining the Older Loss Group, you can access peer support from others who have been through similar experiences and take the first step towards healing.
Gentle guidance on finding hospital or burial records, creating memories, and reconnecting with your grief in your own time
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