Sky Matheos and her partner Trisdan are parents to twin girls Remi and River, born in April 2021, who died a few hours apart at four days old. Here, Sky shares her story of losing twins, and why she talks about her girls proudly and often.
A high-risk twin pregnancy
My name is Sky Matheos, mum to beautiful twin girls Remi and River, who passed away together a few hours apart when they were four days old.
By the time our girls were born in April 2021, I had been in and out of hospital in Melbourne.
It was a high-risk pregnancy, and the 12-week scan had shown low fluid in Remi’s sac. My partner Trisdan – who is my pillar of strength – and I knew from then that we were in for a tough ride.
At 20 weeks, Remi’s waters ruptured, and I was admitted to hospital at risk of early labour. I went home briefly, but on strict bed rest, and then it was back to hospital. Trisdan was by my side for every moment, doing everything he could to help me and his girls.
We made it to 23 weeks, but Remi and River couldn’t hold on any longer. They were born just before 24 weeks, with Remi weighing just 512 grams and River 576 grams.
They were sent straight to the NICU at the Royal Women’s Hospital, and despite all the machinery and medical devices, I had never seen Trisdan so proud.
We were with our girls in the NICU day and night and had to wear a mask, but I could see the smile and pride in Trisdan’s eyes when he looked at Remi and River.
A short life full of love – Remembering River and Remi
Our worlds stopped when Remi and River died. Trisdan and I held each other tight. I will never forget leaving the hospital with empty arms, and we saw a mum and dad leaving the hospital with their newborn twins in their arms. I broke down and cried, and Trisdan held me, saying, “It’s okay, let it out”. We both cried many tears, and still do to this day, but we are each other’s strength and lean on one another.
There is nothing that can prepare you for the loss of your babies. The loss of our babies affected our entire family. The grief and pain is a ripple effect.
Family and friends are so important during this time. Our family has been by our sides every step of the way. My older sisters organised Remi and River’s funeral, and many other things that Trisdan and I were not capable of comprehending during those very early stages of grief. We were in so much pain and shock that we could barely do the simplest of things during those first weeks. I think it is so important to have a strong network to lean on and receive help and support from during all stages of grief.
Why I talk about Remi and River proudly and often
Personally, I post about Remi and River on my social media often because they deserve to be acknowledged. I don’t want to keep silent when it comes to pregnancy and infant loss, I want to advocate to Australia that this is real, not only did our children die but our hopes and dreams and memories to be made died too.
We are left wondering what colour eyes or hair they would have had or what their personalities would have been like. There is so much talk and celebration when parents post about their healthy pregnancies and living children, and I think our deceased babies deserve the same acknowledgement, praise, and attention. My experience so far has very much highlighted the fact that the stigma associated with pregnancy and infant loss is very real, and I feel so strongly about this topic that I do not want to keep silent.
Say their names – better support in the community
Why is it that as soon as you mention a pregnancy loss or deceased baby, the conversation stops? Usually during a conversation about children, if they are living, there are many questions, but if you mention your baby has died, the conversation becomes awkward. I want to talk lovingly about Remi and River and want people to ask me about them and say their names.
Pregnancy and infant loss is sadly a part of many Australian families; therefore, raising awareness is important to me so we can help stop the stigma and make it easier for families to speak openly about their experiences.
Fatherhood and motherhood do not end with the deaths of your children. Our current version of parenthood is different, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that Trisdan is a great, loving, and caring father to his twin daughters and always will be.
Remi and River’s little sisters
Beautiful Rain was born in 2022. And in 2023, Sky and Trisdan welcomed their fourth daughter, Ruby Sky.
“We are so grateful to have a second living baby, but it does not take away the pain of Remi and River dying.”
Sky, mum to Remi, River, Rain and Ruby Sky
Support that may help
If you have experienced the death of a baby or child, we are here for you. Call our 24/7 Grief and Loss Support Line on 1300 308 307.
- Hospital to Home
- Peer and Group Support
- Support for bereaved family and friends
- Men’s Grief
- Read more family stories
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