Each year, hundreds of volunteers give generously of their time to ensure Red Nose Day is a success. Behind every one of those volunteers is a story and very often a deep connection to the idea of supporting families and saving little lives. Felisha is one of Red Nose’s longest-serving Red Nose Day volunteers, clocking up almost two decades of involvement. She shares the story of how and why she brought the magic of Red Nose Day to her community in Denman NSW.

Even before I had kids, I knew about Red Nose Day. Whenever my husband Peter and I saw red noses for sale in a shopping centre we’d always stop and buy one. For some reason we always felt a connection to the cause, but we didn’t ever imagine it would impact us so personally.

I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. At the time I had very little support and it was really hard. I contacted SIDS & Kids, as Red Nose was known then, but I didn’t really become involved until later, after the birth of my second son, Jack.

When Jack was four months old I found him in his cot, face down and not breathing. I remember screaming to my husband for help. I had to try and resuscitate him.

Denman Hospital was a 2 minute drive away so we ran to the car, with our toddler, and took him straight there. A local gardener at the hospital saw us pull up and ran to us, grabbing Jack out of my arms and rushing him into the hospital. He must have been able to tell something very wrong when he saw our faces in the car. I didn’t know if Jack was going to be OK.

Jack did survive and after a week in John Hunter Hospital in Newcastle, where he was transferred, he was diagnosed central sleep apnea. His brain was not sending the signals to make him breathe properly, and so he wasn’t getting enough oxygen.

Jack came home but spent the next five years on oxygen therapy while he was sleeping. We had to use a sleep monitor. My grandfather, Percy, was the president of Denman Rotary at the time and Rotary were able to donate the monitor to us. Initially SIDS & Kids Newcastle provided us with the probes for the monitor and from then on, we were in touch with them all the time.

I eventually got pregnant again but unfortunately had a late term miscarriage. This time, I went to a local SIDS & Kids support group, which made a massive difference compared to how things had been with my earlier loss.

I was still heartbroken at the lack of support I received at the hospital, but through SIDS & Kids I was able to take things to the hospital about miscarriage grief to raise awareness because at that time there was nothing. And sometimes we’d drop off little care boxes for other parents who were going through it.

My grandmother, Noela, had lost a little boy in the cot years before. She ended up coming to the group as well and she finally got a chance to grieve for her son. It’s amazing how much this helped her even all those years later. It was like she had people who understood her grief. It meant a lot to her to be able to help some of the younger mums in the group, too.

One of the things I’m most proud of that came out of my involvement in the group was the establishment of a memorial garden for families so they could have plaques to recognize their babies. I was really bothered by the fact that my babies didn’t have a grave and that there was nothing to even show they existed and I knew other families might feel this way too. We called it the Garden of Innocence.

Eventually the SIDS & Kids group couldn’t operate anymore in my local area, so I started putting more of an effort into Red Nose Day, especially when my eldest son started at the local school. All the years my boys were at primary school we’d celebrate Red Nose Day and have all the kids dress up in red. We’d have competitions and sell merchandise.

Denman NSW, where I live, is a small country town, and after I’d finished at the school for the day I’d go up to the main street and stay there until 5pm so the kids from the other local school could come and purchase merchandise. I’d walk around to the businesses as well who would all support me.

Although all three of my boys have finished primary school now, I still do my bit for Red Nose Day.

It’s been hard at times to continue as life has had its ups and downs, but I do it because I know what other families are going through in tough times.

Red Nose Day is just something that is part of me now and that will always be a part of me. Just knowing that I can do something for the community touches my soul. I want people to understand what others are going through. You never want or expect it to happen in your own family but if it does, we want people to know there is help and support out there.

Red Nose helped me stay focused when I needed them so I want to give something good and worthwhile back to the community, even if it only helps one person.

Red Nose Day relies on the generous involvement of many community members, volunteers and fundraisers. To find out more about how you can get involved visit www.rednoseday.org.au

There are many dedicated staff, volunteers and supporters who together make the work of Red Nose possible. This is Kate’s story.

I’m one of a team of Bereavement Outreach Workers – spread across the country – who work in the Hospital to Home Program. We support families for the first 3 months after the death of a baby. The program is something so needed, and it is wonderful to see it begin to find its feet in the community.

The kind of support we provide is both practical and emotional. We meet with clients – either by phone, video or face to face. Sometimes I might attend an appointment with them or help them find a social worker. Other times I might be liaising with a funeral director, an employer or a school. The needs of each family are so varied and so the work is too.

The Hospital to Home team is a wonderful group of women to be part of. Everyone in the team has a shared focus and passion and I’ve found that this really brings us together, despite our geographical distance. Each of us brings different, but complementary skills to the role.

I bring my background in midwifery and grief counselling to the team. Midwifery is my calling, and I’ve also completed graduate studies in counselling and grief support. As a time of great transition, I think birth can often be accompanied by different kinds of grief, even when things go ‘well’.

Sadly, there are so many times it doesn’t go well. As a midwife, it’s my job to give women their options and then support their choices regardless of my opinion. That’s true of my role in the Hospital to Home team, too, when I see women and their families at their most vulnerable.

I’ve always been inspired by the strength and resilience of women and families – their vulnerability and their ability to find something inside, that they didn’t know they had, and keep going.

To make sure I can keep going, despite the sadness I feel for the families I support, I try to remember that whilst it is OK for me to feel deeply sad, this is not my grief and the best thing I can do is stay on the fringes so I can help them find ways to cope with it.

It helps that I feel so supported, loved, nurtured and valued by my team. It’s amazing to work for an organisation that truly cares about its employees and the families they support.

There are many dedicated staff, volunteers, and supporters behind the work of Red Nose. This is Joan’s story.

I have a long-standing, deep relationship with Sands, and now Red Nose, as a bereaved parent, volunteer, and as one of the founders of the Victorian-based Older Loss Support Group.

The Older Loss Support Group is very special to me and to the many others who’ve felt lonely in their grief because their babies died at a time when people thought the best way to cope with the loss of a child was to actively forget about it – to go home and have another baby.

I lost two baby daughters in the 1970s – Rachel and Andrea – and I have so few memories to keep of either of them. When Rachel was born, she was struggling to breathe in a humidicrib, and I never got to see her at peace when she died at only 3 days old. Andrea was later stillborn, and I didn’t get to see her at all. It was so cruel. So unreal.

It wasn’t until twenty years later that I found Sands. I went along to a memorial service and loved the support and feeling among the community.

When I first went along to a local support meeting, the people there were newly bereaved and even though they were interested and supportive, they found it hard to relate to my story and vice versa.

So, when I was invited to attend a get-together to discuss a group for people who had lost their babies quite a while ago, I went along. From that moment I felt that I was amongst friends, which was the most validating feeling.

The Older Loss Group became a lifeline for parents like me, whose grief had never been truly acknowledged or reconciled. To finally be able to talk to someone else who knew what it was like to never have seen or held their baby was so meaningful.

As the group grew, we would visit cemeteries together. We advocated for better care for the often-neglected children’s areas and as a result were able to make improvements to beautify these special spaces. Along the way we also began to ask a lot of questions and try to find out more about the sites where hospitals once buried babies who had died.

Other families began contacting us to see if we could help find their baby’s resting place and, in many cases, we’ve been able to do that for them. It’s such an honour and privilege to be with a family so many years down the track when they are finally able to find a sense of peace and begin to feel whole again.

So much has changed over time. Now, parents are able to see and hold their baby, to share their grief with loved ones, and to decide what happens to their baby in the way of a funeral or burial. It’s fantastic that there is also so much more in the way of support for families.

The power of being able to talk openly about your baby can’t be underestimated. As the years have gone by, the Older Loss Group have continued to get together for social outings and dinners, and we still really benefit from that ongoing support we give each other. Many of us have stayed part of the community in other ways, helping to give back to others by becoming a volunteer parent supporter, a committee member, or by organising special community activities such as Walks to Remember and memorial services.

I’ve even had the honour of speaking at conferences in Sydney and New Zealand about the life-long impact of not being able to see, hold or bury your baby as well as the role peer support can play in recovering from loss. Years ago, I would never have felt I could have done this, but I definitely feel that my girls and Sands gave me the courage to do so.

I think it’s so important bereaved families know it’s never too late. No matter how long ago your loss, there are people who understand, who can listen, and who can support you, if you can find the courage to take the first step.

There are many dedicated staff, volunteers and supporters who together make the work of Red Nose possible. This is James’s story.

I first became involved in Red Nose Day in my Primary School days, proudly sporting a red nose on the playground – and today I manage Red Nose Day, helping people everywhere buy that iconic red nose. Previously, I had been working in a different industry but I knew I wanted to do something with a little more purpose.

Working on events and various community programs had been a passion of mine and my partner saw a role with Red Nose and suggested I apply.

I completed a 6-week internship during Red Nose Day in 2017 and loved the connection to supporters and families. I decided that I wanted to make a go of working in the charity sector.

Luckily, a Community Fundraising role opened up at Red Nose a few months later and I jumped at the opportunity!

I have been the Fundraising Campaigns Manager at Red Nose for the past 3 years, and I am passionate about coordinating our major fundraising and awareness campaigns throughout the year, including Red Nose Day!

One of the best things about my job is working with a range of different people from different backgrounds and in different departments, who all carry the same passion and dedication for helping people.

I draw a lot of inspiration from people who can listen and support others through tough times and not expect anything in return.

Through my role I help create campaigns that get seen by millions of people across the country, and develop ways for supporters and families to connect with our organisation, ensuring that there will always be support for families who rely on Red Nose services in their time of need.

Seeing the incredible difference our support services make, and the strength and resolve of the bereaved families connected to Red Nose – my reasons for working here are continually reaffirmed.

Our supporters and families, and the amazing work of our volunteers constantly inspire me.

From large corporate groups, to community events and individual fundraisers – the range of people willing to dig deep and contribute to support for families and vital research funding during Red Nose Day is so beautiful to witness.

It is such an honour to be able to provide an opportunity for our Red Nose community to have a means of giving back, and expressing their gratitude for what we do.

This year is the 35th annual Red Nose Day, and I am excited to connect with supporters across Australia again this August, and witness the incredible power of a community all working to support grieving families and find the next breakthrough in research that will stop babies dying suddenly and unexpectedly.

My partner and I have recently welcomed a baby girl into the world, so this years Red Nose Day takes on a different meaning, and motivates me even more to make sure Red Nose can continue to support the thousands of Australian families that rely on our services.

When I am not working at Red Nose you’ll either find me relaxing with my family, watching movies or eating too much Italian food.

Your donations help us provide 24/7 support to grieving families. Sponsor me this Red Nose Day or sign up and create your own fundraiser.