Behind the noses - Ella’s story

There are many dedicated staff, volunteers and supporters who together make the work of Red Nose possible. Ella, an 8yo bereaved sibling, tells her story, to mark National Siblings Day.

Alice

My name is Ella. I am 8 years old, and I am part of Red Nose because I help with lots of jobs with my Mum.

Red Nose helps people when their baby dies. It’s a very good place.

Our baby died too. My brother Max died when he was a baby because he was born too early. It happened before I was born.

When I was born my Mummy and Daddy told me about him, but I don’t remember when. I just always remember knowing about him.

The first time I thought about Max I felt sad and wished that I saw him so I could see how cute he was. He’s 9 now. He would be in Grade 4.

He would be taller than me so he could get things down from up high for me if he were here.

I always wonder about his personality. I think he would have been kind and funny and sometimes annoying. All brothers and sisters are annoying sometimes.

I sometimes help Red Nose and Sands at the special festival called ‘Walk to Remember’. Last time I got to make pinwheels and give them out to all the people. I also got to make a special sign with Max’s name on it. I decorated it and hung it up and I felt proud.

I’ve also helped by organising lots of teddies in the office. I think there were 64 bears. I can’t quite remember because I think it was when I was 5.

When other kids ask me if I have any brothers or sisters, I usually just say no. I don’t want them to know that I have a brother who died because then I will get a bit sad. It is private and special to me. I normally tell only my best, best friends.

If I met someone else whose brother or sister had died, I would tell them it’s OK. I would say I had a baby brother that died, and that you get used to it. When you’re older you’ll still remember but you won’t get as sad because you’ve been without him or her for a long time.

I would also tell them that when you feel sad you can cuddle your mum or dad or your pet. My pets help me when I feel sad, especially my dog.