“We would have loved to see her grow day-by-day, year-by-year into the person she was supposed to become. We hoped she would have a full life and know everyday how much she was loved.” – Danielle mother to Mia Rose
We only had a few hours with our daughter Mia Rose - to hold her, to kiss her cheeks, to memorise the curve of her face and to admire her full head of thick, dark hair.
But we never got to see her eyes, nor did we hear her cry or laugh or see her hit the newborn milestones that many parents get to experience.
We never got to know what her favourite toy might have been, or which lullaby would have soothed her to sleep.
We never got to take her home.
Mia was born and gone all in the same breath of time. She slipped away quietly, and in that moment, our world collapsed. The dreams we had for her - the birthdays, the first steps, the cuddles in the middle of the night, to see her grow day-by-day - were all gone.
I remember sitting there in the hospital room, still and broken, knowing I would walk out with empty arms and a heart forever missing a piece.
Mia would be three now – we would have loved to be making memories and soaking in all the experiences that come with having a toddler.
Being supported by Red Nose
Danielle: After we lost Mia, I didn’t know how I would survive the weight of it. There’s no handbook for this kind of pain. But we reached out to Red Nose to help us through our grief and it changed everything.
The counselling sessions gave me tools – ways to sit with my grief and help with my mental health. Ways to breathe again. To get through the days where the sadness feels like it might never lift. Receiving the handwritten note every year on Mia’s birthday is a beautiful, touching way that helps us navigate our grief journey – we love to add the notes to Mia’s memory box.
Red Nose’s Walks to Remember became a sacred space for me. I’ve walked in Mia’s honour for two years now. At the last one, my husband and living daughter Maddison came with me. We helped with the BBQ, shared quiet moments with other families, and felt the comfort that only comes from being around people who get it. People who know that kind of loss. There’s something unspoken between us - a bond built not in words, but in shared heartbreak and silent understanding.
Steve: The heartbreak of losing your child before you can even build memories and watch them grow is devastating.
The hardest part is not being able to grieve properly because your responsibility as a father and partner is to support your partner through their physical recovery and then also stay strong to be their emotional support. Red Nose grief counselling helped me to process my grief and learn how to release it instead of keeping it all bottled in. It’s not a sign of weakness for men to reach out and get the support that they also need.
Getting behind Red Nose Day this year
I’m now a Peer Support Volunteer with Red Nose. I sit with others in their pain, in their early days of grief, and offer whatever I can - a listening ear, a bit of hope, the reminder that they’re not alone. Helping others has helped me too. It gives me purpose. It gives Mia’s short life a lasting impact.
This will be our third year raising funds for Red Nose Day. My husband and I are doing everything we can to get our workplaces and even Maddison’s daycare involved. Every dollar counts. Every effort matters—not just for supporting grieving families, but for the education and research that can help reduce SIDS and save other lives.
This will be the third year my husband and I will be raising money for the day. We are also hoping to get our workplaces and daycare involved.
Any donation big or small will help not only family’s that have had to go through the worst pain imaginable but will help with education to help reduce SIDS.
Danielle’s message to other families out there who may be going through similar pain
The pain of losing a child is a pain that never goes away. It is ok not to be ok. Some days it will hit harder than others, but remember you are not alone. Reach out and get the help and support that you need.
Red Nose has amazing ways to support and just take each day as it comes.
Mia Rose may not be here in our arms, but she is everywhere in our hearts.
She is loved. She is missed. She is remembered.
Always.
__________________________________________________________________________________
There are many ways to get involved in this year’s Red Nose Day. You can fundraise in honour of a little life, host a Red Nose Disco, buy merchandise or make a donation. Visit rednoseday.org.au