Meet Megan Warren, our Bereavement Support Worker with Hospital to Home

I started with Hospital to Home in September 2021; prior to that, I volunteered on the Peer support phone line and facilitated an online support group when they moved online due to Covid. I was also a member of the National Community Advisory Committee.

I’m now a Bereavement Support Worker with Hospital to Home, providing support to bereaved families in regional and remote areas of Australia through the Phoebe Joan Program.

I first contacted the peer support line when I was pregnant with our son Kavyn; after experiencing multiple miscarriages, a stillbirth and the death of our newborn son, I felt that I needed support with this pregnancy after so much loss. The beautiful mum that took my call had experienced a pregnancy after loss herself. She knew what I was going through and validated my feelings. That phone call made a huge impact on my life. I started attending peer support meetings and, in time, trained as a peer supporter, volunteering on the phone support line and helping out on Red Nose Day until we moved away from Perth in 2007. After stepping away from a management role in 2019, I felt that I had the capacity to give something back to my community, so I contacted Sands and started volunteering again.

When the opportunity came up to apply to be a Bereavement Support Worker supporting regional and remote families, I knew that I had to apply. When I experienced the deaths of our son’s I was living in Perth; despite having access to services and support, I still felt isolated. I felt that no one understood what was happening. I could only imagine what it would be like to experience a stillbirth or death of a child and live in a regional area that has limited access to services. Thanks to the technology we have available, I am able to provide practical and emotional support to families wherever they are in Australia or the world. I have recently supported a family who is travelling overseas to visit family after the death of their baby. I know that the work that we are doing makes a difference, and I could be the one person who says their baby’s name or asks them how they are really doing.

I really am passionate about reducing the silence and stigma surrounding pregnancy loss. My maternal grandmother experienced the stillbirth of her second child, and my mother experienced multiple miscarriages, but these were not openly talked about. In 2018, I wrote a submission to the Senate inquiry into Stillbirth Research and Education, sharing our family experience and the impact that stillbirth can have on a family.

It is a privilege to support newly bereaved families and have them share their stories and experience of their precious babies. When they are so new in their grief, it can be all-consuming, and they can’t see life ever being anything different. The support we provide might be practical, such as navigating Centrelink entitlements and returning to work or emotional, providing a non-judgmental ear to listen to what they are thinking and feeling and validating those feelings.

Outside of work, I’m a wife, mum and nana, and I love spending time with my family. I’m also currently a PhD candidate in Creative Writing at Deakin University, writing about my experience of pregnancy loss.

Megan was recently featured on the Her Herd Podcast.

There are many dedicated staff, volunteers and supporters who together make the work of Red Nose possible. This is Skye’s story.

I joined Red Nose to support First Nation communities to have safer pregnancies and to sleep more safely with their babies – doing what we can to prevent stillbirth and SIDS/SUDI.

As the Advocacy Projects Specialist at Red Nose, I create content, co-designed with community that is culturally responsive and safe for First Nations families. This content focuses on safer pregnancy, safe sleeping and Sorry Business (bereavement) care after the loss of a bub. I also work with First Nation health practitioners, healthcare professionals and others who work with First Nation families to ensure cultural safety and considerations are at the centre of the care they provide.

My favourite part of my job is being with community. I have the privilege of travelling to communities for two-way sharing and learning about stillbirth, SIDS/SUDI prevention and Sorry Business care. Building lasting relationships with communities brings me so much joy. I love just ‘being’ with community, it always just reminds me of going to Nans house and there always are cousins and Aunties and Uncles around to have a yarn with.

I love being able to do something that supports my community and to do something that I am passionate about. I love the flexibility of being able to do the bulk of my work remotely as it means I get to work on my own Country, which is very important to my wellbeing and spirit, being First Nation.

My Country is a constant inspiration. I live in the Mallee region of Victoria and my Country is red dirt, stark blue sky and starry nights. The sky is so clear and clean that you can see the entire milky way above my house!

In Springtime, it is filled with wildflowers and flowering gums and it is incredibly colourful and beautiful. Knowing that my ancestors have lived in this area I am on for 60,000 years makes me feel connected and like I belong.

Outside of work, I love making art, spending time with my partner Vic and going out bush. Being out bush is an important part of my life – it calms and soothes me when I need it as sometimes in my work I hear lots of really sad stories.

I’m also a student hot air balloon pilot! I love the sky so much that I want to be up there in it, in a giant wicker basket, attached to a balloon filled with hot air! Not only that, I am the first First Nation hot air balloon pilot, which is a pretty fun fact to share with everyone!

There are many dedicated staff, volunteers, and supporters who together make the work of Red Nose possible. This is Bonnie’s story.

Bonnie Carter OAM is a member of our Community Advisory Group, loving mother to Matilda and Grace gone, but forever in her heart, and Evie who was born in 2021. In the 2022, Bonnie was awarded an Order of Australia for her service to the community.

I am the ACT representative on the Red Nose National Community Advisory Committee. This committee provides advice to our Board, helping us to plan and implement meaningful community engagement strategy and initiatives, that all Australian families can benefit from. I am particularly passionate about this role for the Canberra community and look forward to seeing the Red Nose footprint grow stronger here in the ACT.

It’s only been a few weeks and I am truly in disbelief that I was awarded an OAM. I enjoy reading the Australia Day Honours List every year, looking for names of people I know, and learning about the incredible causes people have dedicated their lives to. Also, as an Australian Public Servant with a Federal Government career myself, I hone in on these lists to look for colleagues and peers who I work alongside doing wonderful work for the Australian Government. As a Canberran, I look for locals that spread the love in our community and help to give back through so many amazing causes. It sparks joy in my heart to know there are so many good people in the world who want to do things to help others. It’s a feel-good moment for me reading these honours lists.

I never actually expected I would ever land an OAM myself. It is an enormous privilege and I am so humbled to know that our love for our girls has had an impact on the community. At the end of the day, I am just a Mum doing all I can to show my love for our girls who are no longer here. My desire to help others stems directly from my desire to love our girls so fiercely and to ensure their memory never ever fades.

It has been a traumatic and hard six-plus years of missing our girls. Grace was born at 19+2 weeks on 2nd June 2016, after a tragic diagnosis of various complex heart deformities, including Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (she only had half a heart). Matilda was stillborn in the same bed and same room as Grace at the Canberra Hospital on 8th December 2017. She was tiny and perfect, a perfect little sister to keep Grace company in heaven.

We have been quite busy in the midst of our losses and our grief. Partly keeping busy to help ourselves push through the deep dark depths of grief, but partly to give back to the community that has supported us in this terrible time.

It all started with a small fundraiser for Bears of Hope. Less than 3 months after losing Grace in 2016, my husband Steve and I participated in the City to Surf road race in Sydney – 14KM from the CBD to Bondi. Doing this we raised $2800 for Bears of Hope, and so began our journey of fundraising and advocacy for pregnancy loss and stillbirth awareness. We have run several fundraisers, including fundraising and designing the renovation of the Canberra Hospital’s Bereavement Suite in the Fetal Medicine Unit (directly working with the Canberra Hospital Foundation) 2018-2019.

I am also very proud of contributing to the design and development of the ACT Government’s Early Pregnancy Loss Certificate which was launched in 2021.

When you become a parent, every fibre of your being turns to protecting, nurturing, and, loving your child. You will do anything to ensure they are healthy and safe, at all costs. For some, that instinct kicks in from the first scan seeing your baby’s heartbeat; for others, it might be the actual birth and that first physical contact. For me, from the moment I knew I had a little life growing inside my belly, from the moment I saw those 2 lines on the pregnancy test, my motherly instinct kicked in.

When you are tragically thrust into the world of baby loss and find out that your longed-for baby won’t be ever coming home, that maternal or paternal instinct does not fade away by any means. If anything, that flame in your heart burns strong than ever, with the fiercest tenacity to protect your child’s memory. To be their voice, to take the footsteps they’ll never get to take, to share their story with the world because they will never get to. To ensure they are never forgotten and always loved. No matter what.

That flame in my heart, that love as a mother, is why I do the advocacy work I do and why it matters so much to me. Honouring our stillborn daughters and sharing their story, is the way we will love and nurture their little lives forever.

It breaks our hearts to know that so many other families share the lifelong pain of missing their baby or babies. We know stillbirth and pregnancy loss doesn’t discriminate and we certainly know that tragedy can strike more than once. So in all that we do, we want to help other families; to honour the other babies gone too soon and show our love to those families.

I have been a long-term supporter of Red Nose Day, as has my family. We have donated through various means even before the losses of Grace and Matilda – we never actually thought we’d end up calling on the amazing services of Red Nose bereavement support. I fondly remember attending a Canberra Raiders NRL game many years ago, before babies were even on the horizon. It was a special game fundraising for Red Nose on Red Nose Day. We were in the crowd proudly wearing our Red Noses and seeing the Canberra community come together for such an important cause (completely unaware how much Red Nose would one day mean to us).

Based on my previous advocacy and fundraising work for the Canberra bereaved parents’ community, I was selected for the Red Nose Community Advisory Committee and commenced working as the ACT rep in early 2021.

All of the advocacy and fundraising work I have done over the years has been done so with a community-centric approach, particularly in supporting my local Canberra friends. I am merely but one voice of the Canberra community. We may be a small community, but we have an almighty community of bereaved parents here who passionately fight to honour the memories of our babies. I am honoured to do the work that I do to support those families. It is of the highest importance to me to ensure that those local families never feel alone or isolated in their journey as bereaved parents.

So, it was of course, a natural decision for me to join the Red Nose ‘family’ through the Community Advisory Committee, as I knew the focus of the community was at the heart of what Red Nose do.

I and the other state and territory reps meet about five times a year, currently via Zoom (I really hope we can all meet in person once this dreaded pandemic calms down a little). The committee was launched in 2021, so we were busy with lots of planning discussions but also some incredible conversations around emerging Red Nose initiatives and strategies. Let me tell you, it is super exciting to be working in this role with Red Nose and having first-hand insight and a significant ‘voice’ into the future direction of Red Nose and its activities in each state and territory.

In a nutshell, my role on the committee is to strategically advise the Red Nose organisation on the ‘community’ perspective of all Red Nose policies, programs, initiatives, and activities. Each committee member is a fellow bereaved parent bringing a diversity of experience and high-level thought to the committee ‘table.’

It is truly an honour and incredible privilege to represent ACT on the Community Advisory Committee. Red Nose is such a vital pillar in supporting the Australian bereaved parent’s community, and it is the work of Red Nose that will ultimately save the lives of so many babies in the future. The work Red Nose does educate families far and wide and undertaking world-class research into the prevention of pregnancy loss, stillbirth, SIDS and newborn death is vital in our community. I am honoured to be part of all that Red Nose do. What I love best about this particular Red Nose Committee is that we are all bereaved parents, all with our own stories and experiences of loss. No bereaved parent has the same experience. I love that this committee brings that breadth of knowledge together with mutual respect, care, and commitment to saving babies’ lives in honour of our babies no longer here. Red Nose will forever remain a special part of my family, and I look forward to further opportunities to support and work with Red Nose long into the future.

Red Nose pulled us out of the awful black hole, especially after our second stillbirth of Matilda. They did not just assist us, but Red Nose saved us. Our phenomenal Red Nose Bereavement Counsellor brought us back from the brink, breathed life into us again, and helped us to thrive every day. We are forever thankful for the Red Nose ‘family’ for showing us light, love, and laughter again. Without Red Nose, we would have slowly fumbled through the mess of grief and took a lot longer to find our way up again.

Matilda and Grace were stillborn, but they were still born. They still mattered, they still existed, they were two little souls we held, cuddled and loved so dearly. We miss Grace and Matilda, and we want their little sister to grow up and know that she has two exceptional big sisters watching over her always.

Grace, Matilda and Evelyn – our daughters, two in our hearts and one in our arms.

There are many dedicated staff, volunteers and supporters who together make the work of Red Nose possible. This is Michelle’s story. “When you give of yourself, from the heart, it’s then that you truly give. You will never know the difference you will make to others.”

Michelle Jewels-Parsons knows first-hand the value of volunteering and its power to help create community. With previously having over 12 years of experience working closely with volunteers in her previous career in the not-for-profit sector, she’s seen the positive impact volunteering can have on people’s lives. Both the volunteer and those they support through their generosity. Michelle now operates her own business as a Funeral Celebrant and End of Life Companion.

Michelle’s niece Brianna, in 2009, sadly lived for only four hours after being born at 26 weeks. Amy, Brianna’s Mum and Michelle’s sister, received vital support from bereavement services, including Red Nose, to help her navigate her heartbreaking loss. Beautiful Brianna was named in honour of her Grandfather, Brian, who passed away suddenly at 52, nearly 20 years ago. A loving legacy for a much-loved father.

Michelle came to volunteer for us through her friends Rachel and Rosie. Rosie is a long-time volunteer of Sands (now part of Red Nose.) She is also mum to Gemma, who sadly also passed as a baby. Rachel, Mum to Chaunte Rose, who was stillborn in 1998, is also one of our Peer Support volunteers. When Rachel suggested to Michelle that she might consider volunteering to MC the Walk to Remember volunteer, she didn’t hesitate.

“It’s a supportive collective. Organisations vital to our community like Red Nose would not be able to provide their essential services without the efforts of kind-hearted volunteers. Many of their volunteers and supporters are bereaved parents or family members themselves.”

For two years Michelle and her husband Richard have given their time and energy to volunteer at the ‘Walk to Remember’ held in Glen Osmond, South Australia. She is the event’s MC, and Richard is a vital part of the barbecue crew. For Michelle, the most moving part of the walk is when she invites the families of babies and children who have died to come forward and ‘say their name’ and remember them.

As well as volunteering for Red Nose, Michelle also generously donates part of the proceeds from the sales of her book, The Present Box. This beautifully illustrated book was written with her niece and Brianna’s sister Ellie when she was six. It explains death, grief, loss and funerals to children aged 2-11.

“I have a strong ethos of paying it forward. My sister received a lot of support when Brianna died, and I haven’t forgotten. It makes me feel good to contribute.”

We have a range of volunteer opportunities at Red Nose. If you would like to help save little lives and support bereaved families, sigh up now.