You can carry both, fear and hope, side by side. I realised those feelings were just another part of my grief journey.
My name is Kim, and I’m the proud mum of Alby and Rufus.
Alby was my first-born son and he was full of life. He loved cars, cake, and his favourite colour was “rainbow.” Even though much of his life was spent in COVID lockdowns, he was never phased. Puddle hunting and spending time with his family was all he needed to be happy.
In July 2021, Alby died suddenly in his sleep at just three years old. He was otherwise healthy, and no cause of death was found – doctors suspect an undetected heart arrhythmia.
My husband Greg and I were referred to Red Nose’s Hope and Healing group by our grief counsellor. That group became pivotal in our recovery. It was the first place we felt safe enough to express our grief openly, without needing to filter ourselves. The facilitators, along with the other families, gave us comfort, connection, and the reassurance that we weren’t alone.
I continued attending the group during my pregnancy with our second son, Rufus. It was a deeply emotional time. I felt full of anxiety, but also hope. I learned that those feelings could coexist. Even though it felt heavy and uncomfortable, it was all part of grieving while moving forward.
Now, as a peer supporter, I feel privileged to offer the same hope and support I once received. It’s incredibly rewarding to sit alongside others in their pain and gently show them that, somehow, you can survive this life-changing loss.
To those supporting someone after loss, please don’t try to fix or ‘silver-line’ it.
Just listen.
Our babies aren’t replaceable, and they’re still very much part of our families.
Red Nose is proud to support Perinatal Mental Health Week which in 2025 is held on 23 to 29 November.
Did you find this helpful?
Good job! Please give your positive feedback
How could we improve this post? Please Help us.
