Cade Ryan Tomlinson was born sleeping on the 10th April 2022 and weighed 2.5kg and he was 53cm long.
Everyone was so excited to meet him, especially his big sister Amity. We did a gender reveal scan at 14 weeks to find our baby was in fact a boy. All our dreams come true, our pigeon pair.
Cade was growing perfectly. At 39 weeks, 2 days I started having contractions. I noticed his movements slow a little and on Sunday after contractions we decided to go to the hospital for a check up.
After 3 observations, another lady was called in and she said those dreaded words, “I’m sorry we can’t find a heart beat.” I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do at this point. I felt numb.
More complications started and they couldn’t find my waters to break. Another midwife saw the cord and suggested it was a cord prolapse. Cade came into the world at 9.36pm. 2 hours after trying to push the placenta out, finally the midwives pushed that big red scary button and I was shipped down to get surgery to remove this placenta.
During the night after surgery, we dressed Cade, took his finger prints and I got to hold him.
I have to be completely honest it scared me to hold him to know I will never get to see his little eyes. What colour would they be? How would his cry sound?
We stayed until the Tuesday with Cade in hospital in a butterfly suite. We read him, ‘The tiny star’ and played his riff raff at the 9.36pm Tuesday night as we said our finals goodbyes before we left the hospital the following morning.
We had an external autopsy that showed I had low amniotic fluid so I wouldn’t have noticed when the waters broke and I had placenta accrete. His cord was long too which in itself can cause fetal death or complications. All of these factors caused late onset growth restriction where the placenta wasn’t allowing Cade to grow as he should have been and eventually his heart stopped. There was a big investigation at the hospital and everything after having a debrief with the midwife team following the autopsy results.
Through Red Nose we joined Heart Strings and connected with other families who have been through something similar. It inspired me to want to share and help others in similar situations. It’s devastating to know how often it happens and all the families who grieve and keep it to themselves.
Red Nose, my friends and family have supported me to talk about my little boy, remember Cade and celebrate his milestones. I encourage others to reach out if they are going through something similar. I hope that you talk about your loss, your feelings and lean on one another.